My Journey in Psychology (so far...)

During A-levels, I was pretty adamant about studying English Literature at University. I applied to several universities and was eagerly waiting to hear back. Things quickly changed, however. Whilst attending my first ever open day event at a university, I realized that English Lit wasn't really for me. Although I loved reading and would often spend hours in the library after school, studying for a degree in English Lit would be a completely different thing. I was kind of confused for a few days following that. Asides from English Lit, I was also studying Psychology and Philosophy at A-level. In all honesty, I had always done much better on my Psychology papers than English. I was naturally curious about the way people work, the human mind fascinated me. So, it only made sense that maybe I should follow my natural instinct, and possibly consider doing a degree in Psychology.

Within a week, I submitted a personal statement to UCAS and was (again) waiting to hear back from universities. In the summer, I got my grades (AAB - which I was really pleased with) and was offered a place at the University of Worcester. The three years of undergrad went by so fast! I enjoyed all my modules (except for stats), the lecturers were very supportive, and despite COVID-19 happening in between, I was able to remain focussed and calm. My dissertation was on the role of acculturation strategies in the cultural transitions of international students at a UK university - which was pretty interesting! Now thinking back, there were times when I felt like I wouldn't be able to do well and often wanted to give up. However, I knew that as long as I put in some work every day, I'd be able to keep moving and wouldn't fail any of my assignments. I'm glad that I persevered, because if I hadn't then I wouldn't have been able to be where I am today.

In the summer of completing my degree, I went to India to undertake a two-month internship in the psychology department of Caritas Hospital. Although I knew that I wanted to be a Clinical Psychologist, I wasn't really aware of what this job role actually involved. I knew that before making up my mind about what to do after my degree, I should maybe gain some clinical experience first, and so I went! Whilst working alongside two psychologists, I learnt so much about Psychology, but even more about me! I was able to (for the first time ever) accurately identify my strengths and weaknesses.

I began to engage in the process of introspection, to understand who I truly am and what I am passionate about. Often I'd have to conduct 1-1 sessions with children diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, and Learning Disabilities. This was extremely daunting at the start! I felt like I was making a lot of silly mistakes, and started losing confidence. Quite embarrassingly, I wasn't sure how to deal with criticism. It made me feel weak and hopeless. However, gradually, I began to look at things from a different perspective. Without making mistakes, I would never learn. I'd never be able to improve. I shouldn't see criticism as a personal attack, but rather as an opportunity to learn and grow. Within a month, my interactions with the children had improved and I began to connect with them on a personal level. Life became sweet, but Lesson No.2 was just around the corner.

Although it's perfectly normal and necessary to empathize with clients, it is equally important to not mix empathy with sympathy. Often I felt sympathy for clients. There was one child in particular whom I adored. I used to think: "She's only five, why is she going through such emotional turmoil at this age - it's not fair, maybe I can do something to help her". Yes, it's okay to think like that, but often in a clinical setting, a professional should be aware that sympathy is often an unwanted, pity-based response to a distressing situation. Thankfully, the psychologist that I was working with knew how to help me through this dilemma. Fast-forward two months, and I was nearing the end of my internship. I gained so much in that short period of time, both on a professional and personal level. Surviving in another country by myself was tough - but it only made me stronger, and it was rather fun!

Upon my return to the UK, I received my degree classification. I achieved an Upper Second Class Honours. I was happy, but lowkey kind of wished that I had got a first. I was still passionate about pursuing a career in Clinical Psychology and began looking into post-uni options. As most of you aspiring clinical psych students/grads know, experience is NECESSARY to get onto the doctorate, and that's when I realized that, asides from my internship, I don't really have much experience working within the mental health sector. Okaay. So what do I do? Well, I spent the summer applying for voluntary work. I began to work at a local charity shop - Headway (The Brain Injury Association). It was a very pleasant experience, and I was glad that I could contribute my time and effort to an organization that was passionate about improving the lives of people affected by brain injury.

I also applied for a dementia befriender role with AGE UK. This was an experience in itself! I was providing companionship to the elderly who often found themselves lonely and isolated from their family/friends/community. Whilst volunteering with AGE UK, I met individuals who would happily talk for hours on end, and also those who would find any excuse to avoid communication. You see, not everyone will respond to you in the way that you expect. For some of these people, it wasn't really a 'stranger' telephone companion they needed. They longed for their children, grandchildren, or even their late husband/wife. I still remember an 80-year-old man. He had been recently diagnosed with cancer. Every time that I phoned him, he would tell me he'd rather die and be with his late wife as soon as he can. There was nothing to keep him going anymore. No wife, no children, nothing. Emptiness. Life can get incredibly difficult and unfair at times, I thought. Sigh.

To be continued!